If you want to influence others and attract loyalty, then you’ve got to get people to like you first. People almost exclusively do business with those that they know, like, and trust.
The key to succeeding both professionally and personally is to build up a strong rapport with those around you.
Rapport isn’t just the ability to make small talk before getting on to the bigger stuff. It’s all about creating a strong meaningful relationship.
The Six Golden Rules
There are 6 golden rules to creating lasting relationships.
1. Put On A Smile
The first decision anyone makes about you is if they find you attractive or not. This doesn’t mean romantic attraction, it’s if you give off a warm, magnetic glow.
No one would choose to do business with someone they find miserable. And a smile goes such a long way towards creating the right impression.
2. Show Genuine Interest
You are the most important person in your life. This may feel a bit narcissistic, but it’s true. Bear in mind though that it’s also true of the person you’re talking to.
Whether it’s a client, a colleague, or a spouse they are the most important person in their life. So when you meet with someone forget about making yourself seem interesting or remarkable.
You are secondary, the focus should be entirely on them.
Ask them questions and show a genuine interest. You can do this by actively listening to the answers and refraining from moving on too quickly. The process shouldn’t feel like a rapid-fire Q&A.
Uncover the layers and absorb the answers. You should then use them to ask other related questions. The conversation will flow naturally and feel real, and guess what? Doing this will make you remarkable in their eyes.
3. Listen Actively
How many times have you been asked a question only to feel like the person isn’t interested in the answer? It’s infuriating, isn’t it?
It’s often not because they’re rude, or even that they don’t care. It’s usually because they’re thinking obsessively about the next thing to say and are only half focusing on the answer.
The key to getting someone to talk about themselves is to provide a silence for them to fill. Let them talk freely and know that you’re listening, and more importantly hearing them. Your curiosity should never waver.
Be active in this process, throw in some supportive words like ‘wow’, ‘yes’, ‘really’ etc. These simple cues of encouragement keep the conversation going.
4. Use The Person’s Name When Possible
Don’t go overboard on this – using their name 50 times a call or meeting, as some telemarketers do, ends up feeling a bit sleazy.
Used sparingly and meaningfully will create significance. Saying ‘[Insert name], it was great to meet you today.’ Instead of simply ‘it was great to meet you today,’ will make them feel special.
This doesn’t just apply to the individual. If you know family names like spouses or children, then using them in your next meeting shows just how much you’ve actively listened and how much you care.
5. Keep Their Interests At The Forefront
Always frame the conversation about them and their interests, not yours. Just listing what you offer means nothing unless they can see how it’s going to benefit them and their life.
Find out what they want and make their needs the center of your conversation staying curious throughout.
And if you don’t fully understand their needs and wants then you must ask. It’s really important that they feel seen and understood during these critical interactions.
6. Sincerely Make Them Feel Important
The times when you genuinely feel important are when someone shows you a little gratitude or recognition.
These are powerful ways to make someone feel special and appreciated,
This can manifest itself as a simple ‘thank you’ or even a compliment. However, the more thought that you put into this, the better.
Really consider how best to achieve this and find a way that’s individual to them.
What’s The Best Way To Build Rapport And Get People To Like You?
Let’s recap the six golden rules of building rapport with those around you:
- Smile
- Show interest
- Call people by name
- Put others first
- Make people feel important
If you follow these simple rules, with integrity and honesty, you’ll be well on your way to making friends and creating truly incredible relationships.
