Are you searching for your long-lost swagger? Perhaps you feel like you’ve never swaggered? Or maybe you used to and can’t understand why you’ve stopped?
Whatever the reason, the best person to help you re-discover your swagger is Leslie Ehm.
Leslie is a former television host and advertising creative director, regarded by many as the ultimate training guru with a reputation for unleashing human potential. Her latest book is a #1 Amazon bestseller called Swagger -Unleash Everything You Are & Become Everything You Want.
In this article, Leslie talks about why you might have lost your swagger and more importantly how you can get it back.
"The belief that there’s something wrong with you is far easier to understand than the possibility that there is something wrong with the other person. "
Where’s My Swagger Gone?
Everyone is born with a phenomenal amount of personal swagger. But before we know it, life comes at you, and slowly but surely that swagger starts to diminish.
Even in your family setting your self-belief can erode. Comments like ‘we don’t do that in this family’ and ‘you’re not really very good at that’ chip away and cause self-doubt and insecurity.
Each passing comment results in younger you not wanting to take risks because you develop a fear of failing. Things that were perhaps said to protect you end up taking away your swagger instead.
The Power Of Institutionalisation
Your early influences have started the erosion and then you start school and the gear shifts again. You hear the message of assimilation, that you must behave yourself, you must fit in.
Everything around you continues to validate that.
You begin to believe that the things that make you different and unique aren’t amazing. They are something to be changed so you can be respected and loved.
And you start to do it.
It’s not surprising really as it’s human nature to want to be loved.
Entering adulthood and embarking on relationships continues this process – you crave that love and respect even more.
Even going into the workplace is charged with the notion that you’re not good enough. That you must change to be more acceptable.
You’re Your Own Worst Enemy
The biggest problem is that you’re often your own worst enemy. You have become so institutionalized to change, to be accepted, that you continuously try to smooth off all the rough edges. All the things that someone else says they don’t like about you.
The belief that there’s something wrong with you is far easier to understand than the possibility that there is something wrong with the other person.
The Need To Be Validated
The thing to remember is that you’re not alone in this, it’s human nature to want and need to be validated. All of these negative voices that build up in your mind are reinforced by the world around you.
It becomes so much harder to quiet all that noise and regain your inner swagger.
How Can You Discover Your Swagger?
The good news is that you can totally get reacquainted with your swagger. It’s not the easiest or most comfortable process though.
You don’t just wake up one morning and say ‘hey, I’m going to rediscover everything that’s awesome about me.’
It takes time, but it’s worth the work.
Build Your Swagger Ladder
You’ve got to build a ladder to take you safely over the swagger blockers. Those psychological states of being that get in the way of unleashing your true potential.
Persona, ambition, insecurity, and fear all get in the way. Even pain can stop you in your tracks.
But there are 3 weapons at your disposal: Truth, intention, and self-belief.
Truth
You get to a certain point in your life where you just want to speak your truth. You deserve to speak it, and you deserve to be heard.
Speaking your truth will make you realize that it’s not as unacceptable as you thought it was.
Once you begin to understand this, you can use the validation to start breaking down some of the barriers getting in your way.
Intention
Have your intention ready. Why do you want to show up fully in your life? Why do you want to speak your truth? Why do you want to make a difference?
With this kind of motivation and inspiration, your swagger has a fighting chance.
Self-Belief
If you believe that you can take the risk to show the world who you really are, then you’re taking the first steps toward success.
Self-belief requires unshakeable faith that you can step into the unknown and bad things won’t happen.
Why Do Some Of Us Struggle To Find & Unleash Our Swagger?
You’re not alone if you find this a struggle. Those negative voices have been there a long time and outweigh all the positive ones.
The way to silence the negative thoughts is to build a resume of awesomeness.
On it are the facts of your experience, your life, and your talents. Collect these facts, they are proof that you’re amazing, far more amazing than you might believe.
When that negative voice creeps back in (and it inevitably will) you’ve got all these facts at your disposal.
Your individual resume of awesome, where you are perfect in all of your imperfect glory.
Learn To Love Yourself
The final step on the swagger ladder is to start loving yourself. You need to get comfortable stepping into that place where you can love yourself and believe in yourself.
Once you’re there, all of those swagger blockers don’t stand a chance.
Where Can I Learn More?
If you like what you’ve read here then you can learn even more about how to unlock your swagger and unleash your own personal swagger brand. With Leslie Ehm’s #1 bestselling book.
It’s the perfect step-by-step guide for anyone who has not felt good enough. ‘Swagger opens the door to the kind of self-belief that will change the way you live and work—without ever having to sacrifice who you are.’
