Robyn Burdett has worked in real estate for 35 years. She is a coach, speaker, and EWTS Certified Guide.
Her background in real estate has taught her the importance of clear, concise communication. When she started 35 years ago, the landscape was very different. Nearly all communication was either in person or over the phone.
But as communication lines have expanded, Robyn found herself feeling more and more disconnected.
Discovering Phil M. Jones and his book Exactly What to Say re-ignited her communication spark and she found herself more excited than ever to make connections with clients.
She has become a popular EWTS Certified Guide with a passion for sharing her expertise and knowledge. Recently she hosted an EWTS Critical Conversations Webinar entitled How To Create Confidence In Decision-Making In High Stakes Situations.
The webinar explored many areas such as how to remain calm and cool-headed under pressure. And how to have the confidence to advise and support someone through a tough decision.
Those who attended discovered:
- What is a trusted advisor and how you can create this kind of relationship.
- How to remain curious to build empathy and trust.
- How to use simple phrases & questions to change perspectives and help clarify decision-making in high-pressure scenarios such as selling a home, managing a possible job change, or having a tough conversation with an employee.
This blog features the highlights from her webinar.
Content Before Context Is Just Noise
Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed by the sheer amount of content getting thrown at you?
There is information absolutely everywhere, but content before context is just noise.
The EWTS guidebook is designed in such a way that every single industry can use it. But it’s not limited to your professional life, it can be just as beneficial in your personal life too.
For Robyn, it’s not a script, nor a self-help book, it’s a living book that can grow and evolve your Critical Conversations.
Do you wish you had more confidence in the moments that matter?
Just imagine what you could do with a book full of magic words that can be used to create confidence in the high-stakes, decision-making moments of your life.
The 4 Cornerstones Of Conversational Excellence
There are 4 Cornerstones of conversational excellence, and they are:
1
The worst time to think about what you are saying is when you are saying it
2
Curiosity is the fuel for great conversations
3
People do things for their own reasons, not yours
4
The person asking the questions controls the conversation
All of these cornerstones are incredibly important when engaging in Critical Conversations. But the first cornerstone is perhaps the most important when you’re trying to create confidence in a high-stakes situation.
How many times have you lost your confidence with someone because they didn’t appear to know what they were talking about? Or worse that they were simply winging an answer that they hadn’t put much thought into?
In real estate, for example, imagine meeting your realtor who didn’t know what your requirements were, but they still tried to sell you a house.
Being underprepared can break your stride and limit your potential.
Have you ever shown up to an event or meeting with nothing to say? It’s a real confidence shaker and you can fast lose control of a situation simply by failing to prepare.
Your mind starts to spiral as you think about what you should be saying or doing, instead of focusing on the moment.
Doing the work before the work will ensure that you can remain present.
This work prepares you for your important conversations, in the EWTS world, they are what we refer to as your Critical Conversations.
Critical Conversations
Do you know what Critical Conversations are? They are the conversations that appear on repeat, for Robyn that would be her listing conversation or a consultation with a lender or buyer.
They are super important and everyone has at least one Critical Conversation in their professional life and their personal life.
Commercial – The Business You’re Running
Commercial Critical Conversations can be about setting expectations and creating confidence within your team and clients.
What Critical Conversations at the beginning of a meeting can you reinvent to address any concerns?
Leadership – The Business You’re Growing
As a leader, your Critical Conversations might be about keeping your team focused, performance reviews, or client expectations.
What are your current levels of communication? Do you have weekly meetings? How are they run? Is there room for improvement?
Focus on mastery and do not move off the goal until you have mastered it. Leadership isn’t about asking for permission, it’s about gaining it. There needs to be accountability you should strive for open communication.
Personal
This type of Critical Conversation is the communication that you have with your family. How often have you entered into a family discussion offering great advice on the wrong problem?
If you’ve got teenagers then this can happen all too often. Level up your discovery mode before offering unsolicitous advice.
How To Improve Critical Conversations
Think of all the conversations that you are likely to have in either a commercial, leadership, or personal capacity.
What can you put into getting them ready? Are there likely to be common objections or questions that you can anticipate?
Could it be possible to improve your Critical Conversations by preventing objections instead of handling them?
Just imagine how much more effective a discussion could be if you are better prepared.
Curiosity Is The Fuel For Great Conversation
What is the opposite of being curious? You might not realize this, but it’s not caring.
Without curiosity, you appear certain of a course of action, and certainty can create friction if you’ve not arrived at certainty together.
Being curious is not only about the questions that you ask, it’s the tone you use when delivering them. Just firing off a list of questions can appear harsh, a bit like giving someone the third degree.
Slow down, listen to the answers, and use the right tone when asking your questions to build rapport.
The Three Ingredients Triangle
Robyn likes to refer to this as the trust triangle and it can be used daily to deepen relationships and create confidence.
It perfectly demonstrates how curiosity will lead to empathy, that in turn leads to the courage to take action, especially in high-stakes situations.
Your being curious creates certainty with the person you’re talking to. They will have more confidence in you because you have taken the time to ask, listen and hear the answers to your questions.
If you are empathetic then you create relatability and this can encourage a person to be courageous to take action.
All of this ends in trust, a trust that has been earned and granted so that you can move forward together.
The Question Tree
How important is it that you create relatability and trust through your Critical Conversations? Without them, it could be near impossible to move forward with the person you are speaking to.
When Robyn has a Critical Conversation, she focuses on layering and stacking the EWTS magic words and phrases and to do this she makes a question tree.
When planning your questions, you should ask yourself what kind of result you are hoping for. Will your question tree provide that outcome?
Below are some examples of the types of questions you could ask based on the EWTS magic words and phrases. They are all moveable and can be used in many different scenarios to help build confidence.
Next time you are embarking on a Critical Conversation in your world, build your question tree using these EWTS pre-framing examples.
Commercial Critical Questions
- Don’t worry
- Most people
- The goods news
- What happens next
Leadership Critical Conversation
- Open fact question
- How important is it?
- How open-minded are you?
- What’s your experience?
- Because of the fact that you said…I would recommend
- Would it help if
Personal Critical Questions
- Just out of curiosity
- How important is it?
- If…then – if this happens, then what’s your next move?
- Could it be possible?
- Just imagine – thinking about the future
- Before you make up your mind
Using these kinds of questions can help you build more curiosity, it shows the other person that you care and that you’re there for them creating empathy and relatability.
They also allow you to have a focused conversation with positive results. Next time you embark on a meeting, an annual review, or a frank discussion with your spouse or child, try using these magic words and phrases.
Just imagine how much more proactive your Critical Conversations could be.
Are you inspired to join the conversation and learn more from our Certified Guides? You can sign up for the weekly Webinar series hosted by a different Certified Guide each week. They are every Friday at 2pm EST.
