Navigating a New World with Technology
I was an early adopter of ride-share apps. When I got my first iPhone in 2014, there was a steep learning curve, but it was worth navigating because it opened up a world of new possibilities. This little device in my hand allowed me to explore the internet, stay connected with friends and family, and, yes, summon a ride with just a few taps.
The Unexpected Challenge of Ride-Share with a Guide Dog
However, there was one recurring challenge. I’d be standing curbside, waiting for my ride. The app would notify me that my driver had arrived, only for them to cancel and drive away. Strange. Okay, just try again. Another driver arrives, I open the door, and I hear, “No dogs allowed!
Understanding the Role of a Guide Dog
Since I was 17, I’ve been a Seeing Eye® Dog handler. Being totally blind, my guide dog is more than a companion—they are my mobility, my independence, my eyes. Guide dogs have been assisting people in the U.S. since the late 1920s, and they are legally protected under the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA). Yet, despite these protections, I’ve repeatedly faced rejection from ride-share drivers who don’t understand that my dog is not a pet.
The Cost of Confrontation
I like to believe I’m a rational person, so at first, I would politely explain that my dog was a guide dog and that the ADA allows them to accompany me. Sometimes, the driver would understand, and we’d continue. Other times, they would argue that the law didn’t apply to them because it was their personal vehicle. (Spoiler: That’s incorrect. If a service is open to the public, the ADA applies.)
I’ll admit, in moments of frustration, I wasn’t always at my best. I’d snap, “It’s the law. If you refuse, you could lose your ability to drive for Uber or Lyft.” While factually correct, that approach often created resistance rather than resolution.
Shifting from Winning Arguments to Creating Understanding
For years, I was focused on proving I was right. But here’s the thing: trying to change someone’s mind by debating them is exhausting. Instead of making progress, I was stuck in a cycle of confrontation. That’s when I asked myself: What if there’s a better way?
The Power of Conversation: Using Exactly What to Say
When I discovered Exactly What to Say, it transformed how I approached these situations. I realized that the worst time to think about what you’re going to say is in the moment you’re saying it. Instead of reacting emotionally, I needed to lead the conversation with curiosity.
Rather than stating facts or making demands, I began using one simple question:
“What’s your experience with guide dogs?”
This question did two things:
1
It put me in control of the conversation.
2
It opened the door for understanding rather than conflict.
Most often, the driver would say, “Oh, I didn’t realize it was a guide dog,” and we’d continue. Other times, they’d respond, “I don’t have any experience with guide dogs.” That’s when I’d follow up with, “Would it help if I explained what my dog does as we drive?”
By shifting the focus from confrontation to education, I was no longer fighting to be heard—I was inviting a conversation.
The Magic of Asking the Right Questions
Think back to a time when someone immediately jumped in to correct you before understanding where you were coming from. How did that feel? Did it make you want to listen—or push back?
When we approach conversations with curiosity rather than confrontation, we create an opening for real change.
A New Approach: Paws and Shift Perspective
Next time you’re faced with someone making an absolute statement, resist the urge to debate. Instead, ask a question that invites them to reconsider:
What’s your experience with [topic]?
What do you understand about [situation]?
How often do you [action]?
Just out of curiosity, what makes you say that?
Creating Positive Change Through Empathy and Curiosity
Slowing down the conversation doesn’t delay the outcome—it speeds up resolution. By making others feel heard, we create opportunities for understanding, cooperation, and progress.
So, next time you encounter resistance, remember: Paws… and shift their perspective.
