Worry is a natural human trait. We worry because we care about the future for ourselves and for our friends and family. We worry about making the wrong decisions or how our decisions might affect other people.
And sometimes, that worry turns into fear. And fear induces a fight, flight or freeze reaction in us.
So what happens when you want somebody to make a decision or take actions that you know will benefit them, but they are worried? Afraid even?
You might find that they freeze up and avoid taking any steps toward their decision.
They may even back away and try to flee from the conversation.
Or if their fear is inducing a ‘fight’ response, they may respond with objections and arguments for why they shouldn’t do the thing that you think they should do
In this blog, you’ll discover how you can use the magic words, “don’t worry” to overcome people’s natural fear response to something new or difficult.
These two words will enable you to build a connection with others that helps you to eliminate their worry and replace it with trust and understanding.
Don’t Worry, We’re In This Together
The first thing that happens when you use the words “don’t worry” is that it tells the other person that you empathize with them.
If you use the words the right way, with genuine empathy, you’re bound to make them feel better. You’re telling them that you understand their concerns and that you’re sharing the burden.
Just using the words “don’t worry” won’t do very much. But when you say “don’t worry” and follow it up with a valid solution, it has a lot more impact than just giving the solution.
For example:
“Don’t worry, I’ve felt the way you’re feeling now but I can guarantee that it won’t be as hard as it seems and you’ll be relieved when you’re out the other side.”
Don’t Worry, I’ve Got Your Back
The words “don’t worry” are more powerful than you think. It probably stems from childhood.
We’ve all been told “don’t worry” by an adult that cared about us at a time when we needed reassurance.
Children naturally trust adult caregivers because they know that the world can be a scary place and that adults offer protection from danger. So when an adult tells a child, “don’t worry”, they immediately feel safer. Somebody else is taking care of it so they can relax.
The words “don’t worry” still hold the same power to relax people in adulthood. You can actually see a physical difference in people after you say to them “don’t worry”.
You’ll notice their facial features relax and their shoulders loosen. They feel safer because you’ve basically told them “I’ve got your back”, “you’re not alone in this”.
These magic words can actually change people’s physiology and when you use them to relax somebody, you get the credit for making them feel better again.
This transition from fear to comfort releases hormones in the body that creates a bonding experience. When people feel more bonded towards you, they trust you.
Don’t Worry, I’m In Control
When people are confronted with a brand new proposal or a difficult situation, they often feel a loss of control. This is one reason why they might be resistant to taking action and may come up with a list of obstacles and roadblocks.
Again, this is a natural fear response to the things that might happen. The things they can’t control.
The funny thing is, people think they want to be in control but the truth is, they actually prefer for somebody else to take the lead.
When you use the words “don’t worry”, what you’re also saying is “I’m in control. You can relax”.
When you’re in control, they don’t have to be. Then you can soothe their worries by explaining that you have some experience in this and they can trust you that everything will be fine.
For example:
“Don’t worry, we’ve been in situations like this a number of times in the past, as hard and difficult as this is. But I have every belief that in 4 or 5 months, we will be out the other side.”
Don’t Worry, This Is Normal
When you say “don’t worry”, you’re unlikely to stop a person from worrying completely. This isn’t the goal. The goal is to help them to worry less and to feel safer in the situation that you’re both in.
You’re connecting with them and letting them know that it’s normal to have these worries and fears. You’re reminding them that there are solutions and ways of managing the worry. This will help them to confidently take the action that you want them to take and to trust that you’ve got their best interests in mind.
Don’t Worry, I’m On Your Side
These magic words, “don’t worry” are powerful because they change a response from a statement to a solution. It’s not mind-control, it’s proactive empathy.
Please always use these methods with integrity and always in ways that benefit other people. Don’t worry, I’m on your side.
For more tips on communication wizardry and to understand learn how you can diffuse any argument before it’s even started, listen to this podcast with Bryan Kramer – Shifting Your Words To Make A Bigger Impact.
