If you change your words, then you can change your world.
This tagline has been used since the earliest days of Exactly What to Say. The motto has helped thousands of people improve their business communications and enhanced the careers of the many successful Certified Guides associated with EWTS.
EWTS is about engineering conversations and being a masterful communicator. It’s a workbook that is meant to be used every day. It’s designed to be picked up right before you make an important call or before you reply to an essential email.
You can easily thumb through the chapters, carry it around, and refer back to it whenever needed.
What else can this book be used for?
Application Of EWTS
The ‘what else’ of EWTS is through the application of the method. This book is not simply a sequence of 23 magic words; it’s the 23 principles around the words.
To get the most out of the book, you need to understand the principles.
Principles are what allow you to have more confidence in conversation. Principles are what allow you to show up and steer situations. If you try to use these sequences to script, you might find that you trip up or that your conversations appear wooden. However much you prepare your script, in the real world, the other person doesn’t know their lines.
The best way to apply this book is to try it out in real-world scenarios.
Read it through, and then pick just one sequence to try out and see how you get on.
The sooner you put it into practice, the better, but you need to have some fun with it and play with the techniques. This way, you will hone the skills, using the words will become natural, and you will be well on your way to achieving conversational excellence.
Win More With Collaboration
If you are attempting to use this book to generate more sales, then your goal is probably to influence more with your conversations.
But the first thing you should do is reframe your thinking about influence because there is a fine line between influence and manipulation.
Manipulation is something you do to somebody, whereas influence is something you do for somebody.
Can you see the difference?
The magic words outlined in EWTS are tools for leadership, and one key reason things don’t happen the way people would like them to is that the scenario lacks a meaningful conversation.
For example, are you still using terminology like ‘win, win’? Are you striving to create a winning situation with your client? If so, stop!
If you’re creating a winner, the other person is, by default, a loser.
You should be in the business of trying to create situations where both parties win more as a result of your collaboration.
Aim to create success for all involved, not at the cost and expense of somebody else. Remember that winning looks different for your customers and it is usually long the closing table.
If you eliminate the finishing line, then you know that closing a deal doesn’t signify the end. This is the start of an important relationship and should be treated with care and attention.
Become an advisor and demonstrate that you care beyond the close.
This new way of thinking can be difficult at first, but sometimes all you have to do is reframe your thinking. This is where Simple Swaps can help the most.
Simple Swaps
If you think about the language that you use day-to-day, there will often be words that you use on repeat that could be swapped out for something else that is more helpful than harmful.
Let’s use the example of someone going through a difficult time. When someone offers that person help, the offer can sometimes cause more distress. The offer of help might not actually be that helpful.
But actual help is helpful.
One way you could reframe this is to deliver the help that you know the person needs without them having to ask. To do this successfully, you need to understand the context behind the problem and how you’ll discover this by being curious and asking questions.
Curiosity is the fuel for great conversation and when you avoid certainty in a conversation, you create a grey space to play with. This is a safe space for both parties to operate in.
Focus on being helpful and use curiosity to discover how to deliver the help.
Keep It Simple
The EWTS methodology is designed to keep things simple. You should be able to take the words and apply them to your real-world conversations – you will change the application of the message depending on your unique context and scenarios.
When using the methodology, the aim should be simple – provide enough information through your Critical Conversations so that your prospect can make a decision.
As a rule of thumb, when it comes to making a decision, most people want to feel three things:
- To feel smart.
- To feel capable.
- To feel good.
Smart
Smart means that your client has enough information to make a decision. They’re well-informed, but not with too much information that they feel overwhelmed.
If you can show somebody you understand their problem, they’ll trust you with the solution.
Capable
Feeling capable means that they can feel at ease with the choices they are making. This capability translates to the solution you are offering, which feels achievable in their world.
Good
Good decisions are simply the ones that you make and then never have to revisit.
So, the kind of decisions you should be helping people with are ones where the person feels well-informed and smart enough to make a capable decision. The decision to act should feel completely within their means, and once they take action, it should make them feel good.
If people don’t feel smart, capable, and good, they won’t make decisions. Exactly What to Say is the toolbox that will help you achieve this.
