When someone is going through a tough time, the way you show up for them can make all the difference. But how often do we miss those moments, jumping straight into problem-solving mode instead of actually being present?
Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe and Kim Zuroff recently joined Phil M Jones in a conversation about showing up for others-especially in moments of distress. The insights they shared are a game-changer for anyone looking to strengthen their personal or professional relationships. Because in the end, it’s not just about the words you use, but how you make people feel.
What It Really Means to Show Up
Showing up isn’t just about being physically present – it’s about being mentally and emotionally engaged in the conversation. Dr. Robyne shared a simple yet powerful technique: get clarity on your role from the start. Ask yourself, Am I here to listen, offer advice, or intervene? This one shift can eliminate misunderstandings and ensure you’re giving people exactly what they need.
Another overlooked yet crucial aspect? Ear-to-ear conversations. Instead of standing directly in front of someone, position yourself beside them. This subtle shift sends a cue to their nervous system that they are safe, seen, and supported. It’s a small adjustment that can make an enormous impact.
The Benefits of Meaningful Conversations
When you consciously engage in Critical Conversations, you create an environment where people feel valued. This strengthens relationships, builds trust, and positions you as someone people turn to when it matters most.
In business, this level of connection translates directly into stronger teams, better leadership, and more loyal clients. If you’re in real estate, sales, or leadership, just imagine how much more impactful your interactions would be if every client, team member, or colleague truly felt heard and understood.
Real estate professionals, in particular, encounter high-stakes conversations daily. Whether delivering difficult news about a deal, navigating client expectations, or fostering trust in negotiations, how you show up makes all the difference. A rushed or impersonal approach can break confidence, while a thoughtful and empathetic response can strengthen client relationships and lead to long-term success. A simple acknowledgment – making eye contact, listening before responding, and validating their concerns – can turn an uncertain client into a loyal advocate.
Strong communication leads to better collaboration, fewer misunderstandings, and more opportunities. People who feel heard are more likely to engage, be productive, and stay motivated. The power of making people feel seen cannot be overstated-it is one of the most effective ways to build long-term relationships and create a thriving culture, whether in your workplace or in your personal life.
Where We Go Wrong: Missing the Moment
Kim Zuroff highlighted a crucial point – people miss high-impact moments every single day. Whether it’s brushing past a colleague in the office without acknowledging them, rushing into Critical Conversations without setting the right tone, or reacting emotionally instead of responding thoughtfully, these small missteps add up.
We often assume we’re good communicators simply because we talk all the time. But talking isn’t the same as connecting. Have you ever had a conversation where someone was physically present but mentally checked out? It’s frustrating, isn’t it? Now flip that around-how often do you unintentionally do that to others?
And then there’s the classic mistake: someone shares that they’ve had “the worst day ever,” and instead of validating their feelings, we downplay it or offer solutions. Dr. Robyne’s advice? Simply say, “I believe you.” Those three words let the other person know they are heard, without the need to fact-check their experience. When people feel validated, they feel safe. And when they feel safe, they open up-creating the foundation for a truly meaningful exchange.
Another major misstep? Assuming silence means everything is okay. Sometimes, people don’t know how to articulate their struggles. If someone seems off, ask, “How are you really doing?” and then truly listen. Don’t rush to fill the silence. Give them space to share.
How to Make More of These Moments Count
If you take one thing away from this, let it be this: you are bumping into moments every single day where you have the chance to show up better.
Ask yourself:
- How often am I truly present in conversations?
- Am I assuming my role, or am I asking what’s actually needed from me?
- What small tweaks can I make to ensure I’m creating a safe and supportive space?
It’s about mindfulness-being intentional about the energy you bring into each interaction. It’s about slowing down. Take a moment before you enter a conversation to ground yourself. Breathe. Remind yourself to be present. It’s a small step that can yield massive results.
Another practice? Recognizing and eliminating unhealthy communication habits. Do you interrupt people? Do you deflect serious conversations with humor? Do you find yourself formulating a response while the other person is still talking? These habits may seem harmless, but they erode connection over time.
The Ripple Effect of Showing Up
The beauty of making conversations count is that it creates a ripple effect. When you show up for others, they are more likely to show up for someone else. Leaders who create a culture of listening cultivate stronger teams. Parents who model deep engagement raise children who feel seen. Friends who validate each other’s feelings create lifelong bonds.
Think about a time someone truly showed up for you. What did that moment feel like? Now imagine being that person for someone else. The more intentional you are, the more you’ll start to recognize opportunities to connect on a deeper level.
This is the essence of influence – not forcing an agenda, but creating a space where people feel heard, understood, and valued. And when you do that, the impact is immeasurable.
Final Thought: Share the Message
If this resonated with you, who do you know that needs to hear it? There’s probably one person in your life – personally or professionally – who would benefit from this message. Share it with them – or one of our other blogs if they’re even more relevant. Because the conversations we have today shape the relationships we have tomorrow.
Make the moments count. And more importantly, make them meaningful.
Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe
My writing and speaking interests focus on resiliency and wellness including topics such as the intersections of stress, optimal challenge, navigating change, and self-identity. I have worked within post-secondary education in a variety of roles bringing wise practices for professional development, research, learning and authentic change. I am committed to finding innovative solutions for creating positive learning relationships and environments for students, teachers, families, and organizations.
Kim Zuroff
At The ONE Thing, the focus is on propelling organizational success and individual productivity forward, a mission that resonates with my professional journey. As Director of Growth, my role is deeply intertwined with coaching executives and fostering an environment where clarity and focus thrive, ultimately leading to extraordinary outcomes.
With expertise in business growth and a strategic mindset honed over recent years, my approach leverages tailored workshops, training, and coaching sessions aimed at maximizing potential and achieving high-impact results. Our team at The ONE Thing is dedicated to guiding clients toward peak performance by simplifying their paths to success.
