In a world filled with noise, competition for your attention, endless options, the real secret to growing your business isn’t found in the latest tech platform, the flashiest social media campaign, or even the most aggressive sales strategy. It’s found in how you show up and more importantly your words—the way you connect and engage with others using your words.
The truth is success in sales isn’t about chasing leads or convincing people to work with you. It’s about being more of yourself, attracting the right clients, and showing up to serve—not sell. When you use the right words at the right time for the right reasons, you can build trust, remove resistance, and convert more leads into lifelong clients—without ever feeling salesy.
If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable “selling yourself” or struggled to stand out in a crowded market, how open-minded are you to view things from another perspective?
Could it be possible that you don’t need to chase clients—but instead, you could attract them?
Your ideal clients don’t want a script; they want someone who is willing to listen with curiosity and not judgement. They want someone who understands their needs, speaks their language, and makes the process feel effortless. They do not want someone who jumps into solution mode with the “I know best” mentality before hearing the whole story. Instead of trying to be what you think people want, focus on being in the moment to serve the person in front of you. Show up with the ability for an authentic conversation focused on the client’s agenda (not yours) and you would be surprised at how many doors it could open!
The hard part for most people? Fear of not making a sale. You are not alone – no one likes rejection. Could it be possible it is not a “no”, it is just a “not right now”?
Rejection is defined as “someone who is dismissing or refusing your proposal or our product “and a majority of salespeople are fearful of rejection. But why? Let’s dig in further – “Fear. is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” The last time I checked, none of us were physically hurt by not making a sale – just your ego. We simply made a recommendation, and it did not land.
When looking to be rejected less and connecting more with your prospects or clients, it starts with dramatically slowing down the sales process. Oftentimes, the mistake that most salespeople make is that they unintentionally show up focused on their own agenda and try to speed up towards the sales finish line. If we speed up too fast and ask too early for the commitment of the sale, it is like asking someone to marry you on the first date.
Rejection is often seen as the end of the road. We fear it, we avoid it, and sometimes, we even let it define us. It is simply a sign on the side of the road redirecting you to ask more questions and get more curious. There are always deeper reasons behind a refusal—reasons that, when understood, can pave the way for a future “yes.” The good news is that there are simple ways to get into conversation that can help you avoid damaging your ego and your pipeline
Rejection-Free Openings to Start More Conversations:
"I’m not sure if this is for you, but…"
This phrase lowers resistance and makes the other person curious. It allows you to present an opportunity without pressure. The other person subconsciously will decide for themselves whether it is for them.
Example(s):
Upcoming Seminar (Real Estate): “I’m not sure if this is for you, but we are having a seminar in Q2 on (wealth building/how to buy your first home/etc.), would it be helpful to share the invite with you?”
Strategy Session (Financial Planning): “I’m not sure if this is for you, but I’ve been working with several business owners to create financial strategies that lower tax burdens and increase long-term wealth. When would be a good time to explore if this could work for your business?”
"How open-minded would you be to…?"
This approach encourages conversation instead of immediate rejection. No one wants to be seen as “closed-minded.” When you start the conversation with “How”, you are looking for a discussion not a decision. This phrase reduces resistance because it doesn’t demand a “yes” or “no” answer, it invites curiosity and keeps the conversation open. The phrase does not force a decision, they create opportunities for conversation.
Example(s):
Car Sales (inbound/walk ins): “How open-minded would you be to exploring a few options that might fit your needs even better than what you originally had in mind?”
Car Sales (Outbound: Phone, Email, Social Media): “How open-minded would you be to upgrading your current vehicle for a new model without increasing your monthly payment?”
Car Sales (Follow up): “How open-minded would you be to taking a look at some new incentives that could make upgrading more affordable than you think?”
Lead Conversion: Showing Up to Serve, Not to Sell
Once you’ve opened the door to a potential client, the next step is guiding them toward a decision—without making it feel like a “hard sell.”. The next step is to gain context WAY before delivering content (i.e. your solution).
The Shift: Serve First, Sell Later
Instead of thinking, how can I close this deal?’ ask yourself, ‘How can I help this person make the best decision for their future?’ When you prioritize service over sales, clients feel heard, understood, and confident in working with you. And when they trust you, they’ll not only choose you but also refer you.
The most successful professionals, whether in real estate, financial planning, car sales or any other sales, understand that closing more deals isn’t about delivering a perfect pitch. It’s about understanding what truly matters to your clients.
When you shift from selling to serving, you naturally build trust, deepen relationships, and become relatable. And one of the simplest, most powerful ways to do this is by asking:
“What’s important about [X] to you?”
This question is often skipped, not asked to the depth that it is needed or completely rushed. This one question opens the door to real conversations and deeper connections. Once you understand what is important to the decision that is being made, navigating the road towards a potential solution should be effortless. Your job as a sales professional is to help someone make a decision that supports their goal (not yours). If you do not have clarity on what their underlying goal is, how likely are you to be able to help them solve it?
If you skip or rush through this one question, consider it like playing Monopoly without passing Go or collecting $200—you’re missing a crucial step to winning the game
At the end of the day, lead generation and conversion aren’t about selling, they’re about connecting. The best sales professionals don’t push; they position themselves as an advocate or resource. They show up with authenticity, confidence, and a true desire to serve.
Selling is not about closing more deals; it is about closing the gap with the information you’re your client/prospect needs to make a proper decision. When you focus on helping rather than selling, you’ll attract the right clients, close more deals, and build a business that grows through trust and referrals.
So, the next time you start a conversation, remember one thing: asking the right questions can change the conversation as well as the trajectory of your relationships.
